Communication Hack 3 - Find Similarities

Maybe you remember one of my first hacks where I explained how selling is merely a byproduct of building trust. This hack means they will only buy from you if they trust you.

But how can we create a bond with a person we barely know?
The most effective method is to find similarities.

How?

Whenever you’re talking to someone ask questions that look for similarities:

• “How did you spend the weekend?” - hoping to hear common things

• “What are your plans for the winter holiday coming up?”

• “What do you do for fun?” - any commonalities?

Your goal is now to come to a place where you could say
“Yes, me too! I love that book. I love Italy. I love that series.”

All of the times you say “I like that too” you create a deep bond with them.

We like people who are like us, who have similar interests, who behave like us, who dress similarly to us.

How to Apply It

When I begin a conversation with other people I think about finding as many common things as possible. Here’s how you can practice the similarity method: At the beginning of an interaction with a person, focus on being curious.
Simply search for at least three similarities before you continue.

Find more about the similarity method in the book Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People by Vanessa Van Edwards